The Truth About How To Take Personal Responsibility (and 2 lies) 

Is it OK to leave your smelly trash out where your neighbor can smell it because they were noisy and inconsiderate yesterday afternoon?

 

Is it OK to run someone off the road because they cut you off in traffic?

 

The basic question is, “Is it OK to treat someone badly if they’ve been rude to you?”

 

The principle of Personal Responsibility (also known as Individual Responsibility) says it is definitely NOT OK. 

 

Personal Responsibility says “I need to be responsible for how I act in this situation. Even if other people don’t take personal responsibility in that situation, it doesn’t leave the door open for me to do the same.”

 

It’s about being accountable for your own actions and words at any given moment. But it’s also a process of self-improvement and personal growth. A process of learning to be the best version of yourself through each stage of life. 

 

But let’s first clear up some myths or lies that it’s easy to believe about taking personal responsibility. 

 

 

There is a fine line between being very responsible and always acting right, and the reality of life where we acknowledge our human-ness.

 

We can’t always respond perfectly. We sometimes don’t have all the information. There are times we misunderstand what’s going on. 

 

The truth is that we could never respond perfectly in every situation no matter how hard we try.

Nobody is perfect, because we are human. And we don’t want to stop being human because that’s what makes life so interesting.

 

Yes, it is important to always try to be better. That is at the heart of personal growth. But perfection isn't the goal of taking personal responsibility.

 

So take the pressure off.

 

 

Taking Personal Responsibility is not about taking control of yourself. 

 

The reality is that there are some things we just can’t control. Like emotions.

 

Think about a big life event like moving abroad or getting really sick or perhaps experiencing something devastating like a loss in your family, or a divorce. In times like this, it’s almost impossible to take control of our emotions and that is not part of our personal responsibility in that season.

 

If you’ve never experienced something like that before, how could you know how to navigate such a huge life event?

 

And sometimes, unknowingly, we put that pressure on ourselves. Have you ever looked back on a difficult situation and thought, “Oh I wish I’d have reacted this way.”

 

If Taking personal responsibility is not about being perfect or taking control, then what is it about?

 

 

In every situation we find ourselves in, we have a choice. 

 

Taking personal responsibility is about learning how to stop for long enough to evaluate our options and then owning whatever consequences come our way from that choice. 

 

Even when we can’t take full control of our emotions, we can still set ourselves up to be better and make better choices. That is at the heart of self-improvement.

 

Sometimes taking personal responsibility means digging deeper to learn a little bit about ourselves so we can be better and live better and change repetitive behaviors.

 

When you understand why you make certain choices, you can be proactive going forward.

 

We don’t need to be perfect. And we will never be able to take control of our lives. But we do have choices. 

 

Every day is a new day to give yourself permission to take personal responsibility. And remember to be kind to yourself as you figure out how to be the best version of yourself. Self-improvement is a lifelong journey for everyone and we are all a work-in-progress.